Oh SGC
by Ria Lucas AKA Xayian
Summary: Problem solved. CH3 up and ready. A whole lot of silly;P CH3:Anubis The Half-Descended(Rudolph the red-nosed Reindeer). CH2:Daniel Got Run Over by a Glider. CH1:Oh Christmas Tree rewritten. (Parodies in Progress)
1. Oh SGC

**Title:** Oh SGC

**Author:** Maria 'Ria' Lucas

**Category:** Humor/Poetry

**Summary:** I'm sorry but I had to do it. My first and probably last "song fic." Oh Christmas Tree rewritten.

**Disclaimer:** Because I must, here you go: Stargate: SG1 and all characters associated with the television show belong to MGM, World Gekko Corp., Double Secret, and USA/Sci-Fi Network.

**

* * *

**

Oh SGC, Oh SGC,  
You stand strong in a mountain!  
Your halls are gray and filled with lines,  
Each door labled with pretty signs.  
Oh SGC, Oh SGC,  
You stand strong in a mountain!

Oh SGC, Oh SGC,  
You have a real big secret.  
There is more than your color scheme,  
'Fore deep below you hide a ring.  
Oh SGC, Oh SGC,  
You have a real big secret.

Oh SGC, Oh SGC,  
You send some out on missions.  
They come back and protect you,  
The strong, the brave and the special few.  
Oh SGC, Oh SGC,  
You send some out on missions.

Oh SGC, Oh SGC,  
You witness even down time.  
O'Neill does laugh and jokes for fun,  
Teal'c frowns at all his stupid puns.  
Oh SGC, Oh SGC,  
You witness even down time.

Oh SGC, Oh SGC,  
The smart ones con-fuse O'Neill.  
Sam talks and talks, Daneil talks more,  
O'Neill's eyes glaze and then he snores.  
Oh SGC, Oh SGC,  
The smart ones con-fuse O'Neill.

Oh SGC, Oh SGC,  
The Air Force really loves you!  
SG-1 is your flagship team,  
They're sorry for Wormhole Extreme.  
Oh SGC, Oh SGC,  
The Air Force really loves you!

**

* * *

Heh. Bet you never want to hear 'Oh SGC' again. Heh, heh. Let the ria bashing begin. ;p**


	2. Daniel Got Run Over by a Glider

**AN: I didn't really expect 'Oh SGC' to be funny enough to get even one review, but it did. WOW! Thanks Dreamer20715, sexyirishBeep, Amaunetx, and sharp-shooter-Spike. Now, unfortunately for all those Christmas song lovers, I'm back to mutilate yet another song. ;p So if you know the tune for "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" – commence singing!**

**Disclaimer: Original song does not belong to moi…lyrics referred to in writing this were from the singers Elmo and Patsy.**

* * *

Daniel got run over by a glider,  
Walking home from O'Neill's Christmas Eve,  
You can say there's no such thing as ETs,  
But as for me and Marty, we believe. 

He'd been reading a translation,  
O'Neill said to let it go,  
But he wasn't paying attention,  
And he tripped and fell -his book in tow.

When they found him Christmas morning,  
At the scene of the attack,  
He had burn marks on his forehead,  
And incriminating 'snake tracks' on his back.

Daniel got run over by a glider,  
Walking home from O'Neill's Christmas Eve,  
You can say there's no such thing as ETs,  
But as for me and Marty, we believe.

Now we're all surprised with O'Neill,  
He's been taking this real well,  
See him in there watching hockey,  
Drinking beer and playing cards with his new cell.

It's not Christmas without Daniel,  
SG-1 looks real morbid,  
And we just can't help but wonder,  
Is he really dead or ascended?

Daniel got run over by a glider,  
Walking home from O'Neill's Christmas Eve,  
You can say there's no such thing as ETs,  
But as for me and Marty, we believe.

Now O'Neill is really fuming,  
Murray seems a bit vexed too,  
And Carter can't stop her crying,  
Because she just finished watching Xanado.

I've warned all my friends and neighbors,  
Better watch the sky above,  
They should never give a jaffa,  
To a snake who commands them with a glove.

Daniel got run over by a glider,  
Walking home from O'Neill's Christmas Eve,  
You can say there's no such thing as ETs,  
But as for me and Marty, we believe.

* * *

**Note: In case anyone was wondering Xanado, which I've probably spelt wrong, was an old, not so hot '80s movie that I believe had Olivia Newton John in it. It's really sad that I know that much.**


	3. Anubis the half descended

**Did someone request Rudolph?**

**There's no excuse for why I keep doing this to these songs. Nope. None what so ever. So, a BIG thanks to everyone who sees these as review worthy!!! And to those who just sit back and enjoy!!**

* * *

You know Cronus and Apophis and Yu and Nirrti,  
Heru-ur and Ra and Baal and Kali…  
But do you recall?  
The most infamous Goa'uld of all? 

Anubis the half-descended  
Had a dark and gloomy mask,  
And if you ever saw him.  
You would faint and pass some gas.

All of the other goa'ulds  
Used to cringe and fear his name;  
They didn't want poor Anubis  
To join their games to plot and maim.

Then one hot and windy day,  
Daniel came to say,  
Anubis with your mask on tight,  
I can take your butt in a fight.

Then all the goa'ulds attacked him  
With some help from the Tauri,  
Anubis the half-descended,  
Got stuck on planet icy.

Got. Stuck. On planet. I-Ceeeeeeee!

**

* * *

The saddest part is…what can I say? There is no sad part! I'll never stop! Never!!!!! (insert manical laugh here) **


End file.
